Right right left right

Salut Ca Va ?

Each time I go into the city of tunis I am offered to be met by a resident. Much appreciated but doesn’t provide much opportunity to explore the place and learn it. Yesterday I made an effort to not tell anyone id be in tunis to give me a chance to learn the place.

Now, you would think that it is not so easy to get lost in the middle of a city. Not lost as in im not sure where my hotel is, and I don’t want to stop and ask someone. I mean im lost and I am probably going to die before finding out where I am supposed to be. Well au contraire my friend. I’m sure there are some alleys in this place that contain a gate guarded by elves and lions and on the other side is a giant blackhole.

This city is a jungle. I had started to notice the trend, that the narrower the alleys, the less likely I had a clue where I was. This is why I became somewhat concerned yesterday when I found myself turning side ways because my shoulders wouldn’t fit the wide way. That was only half the instability. The other half was in the forty year old man guiding me either out of, or into, the core of this jungle.

“yeah it just up here a ways” he says, followed by a slurred tu fume?

“non, je ne fume pas, Merci “I said

“Not tobacco“he laughs “ vous avez cette dans Canada, oui?” and he turns around to me and unrolls his hand to expose a joint. I was having a hard enough time finding up as it was.

I have always found there is something exciting about only vaguely having a clue where you are. Hopefully in most circumstances, you can retrace your footsteps. And hopefully you turned around and noted your path enough times that you can make your way back. But as you get bolder and bolder and go farther and father from your comfort zone its quite easy to mix things up. Was it the right or left of this fruit stand that I left the alley? Was it the green line 4 subway or the yellow line 7. Did he say go right right left or right right right left.

There are no hard fast rules for going on an inner city adventure or outer for that matter. Just don’t day dream, be observant not in awe. And don’t start thinking of what your mother would think if she knew you were following a taxi driver through china town in Malaysia bartering for a rolex that only loses a second every two seconds. Thinking of what she would say, will just make you laugh rebelliously and you’ll forget to take note of the signs, streets, hydrants, goats tied to signs etc. etc. etc.

I believe that I could have at any time retraced my steps and found the train station or another landmark I was famliliar with, but I was certainly on the cusp of not being able to. In fact I had decided I would turn this last corner and if nothing was clear I would turn back. Well low and behold, down the alley was a restaurant I had visited once before last week. Unfortunately I was with people who lived here and I didn’t notice which alley we came in from, although I was certain it was not the one I used now. There are three alleys, approaching the restaurant. I was on one, and one of the other two I knew led to emines. Basically 50% chance of success ( not considering I wasn’t so confident I could go back the way I came successfully. I tried the right, it seemed more familiar. When I came to a T, and saw no light at the end of either way I turned around and decided to try the third of the three allies.

On the way out, the same gentleman who had tried to trade me his euros for some dinars on the way in, nodded ( I think it was a nod to say, youp you don’t have a clue and im going to get those dinars for these euros and then ill let you out of here). I nodded and continued on. Upon reaching the restaurant I went sharp left into the final alley.

Seeing a sign I had recognised the night before, I felt some hope. I might actually make it home before dark I thought. Bread for the lions tonight.

Spoke to soon. The alleys are getting narrower and nothing is looking familiar. Maybe around this next turn….
Well there was something familiar, unfortunately it was the banker with the Euros.

“Vouz avez un carte? “ il m’demande

If i had a map worth a shit I probably wouldn’t be here I said in my head sarcastically. But I humoured him and pulled out the lonely planet. After pretending to understand the index he decided it was best he’d just walk me out to the main drag.

This is smart I said. Im ten feet from the last place from which, I have any hope of finding familiarity and I’m following this gentleman who ive known for all of 65 seconds. Screw it I thought. Chances are im screwed if I do and im screwed if I don’t so I may as well have some faith in my new friend.

IT was about this time when he offered me the narcotics. The fine for which is undoubtedly punishable by worse than the Canadian reprimand of a $500 fine.

After I refused his marajauna and his euros one more time he left me with the wise advice of “ go straight until you hit the market, at the market go right, then right, then left…or was it right right left.

The clarity of his advice ill never know. I reached the market and after a pair of shoes caught my eye I went right……low and behold. Is that the fountain I saw this morning….. and the vendor I bought the banana from? Can it be ?

Oh merci me it is
It is

Thank you european banker

Thank you familiar restaurant

Thank you banana vendor and thank you pair of shoes.

As the storey goes, I did make it out and back home well before dark. After reaching familiarity I stopped and leaned against a wall and had a laugh before texting a friend to describe the severity of the confusion I had just experienced.

I would like to say ill be smarter the next time. But chances are the next time I get the chance Ill take that one last turn one last time just to make sure I have no idea where I’m going.

All the best

Luke

P:s:

Thanks to Kaela and Amene for offering to do some laundry after reading my last blog. It wasn’t the intent but none the less it was much appreciated. Oh and kaela, I think I got some spaghetti on the right collar if you want to work on that. I am told that peroxide will help